It has been a long long time since I last wrote my blog. Catching up on my writing after lots of changes that have been happening in and around my life. I moved to a different country, changed jobs, met new people, traveled like a gypsy, healed old wounds etc etc. But today, I feel renewed and fresh again! Today, I feel back in my zone of peace and tranquility.
With all these changes, I always kept wondering in my head, what is this all about? Where is my life headed towards! Am I doing the right thing or am I being a fool? Is it something that I really want? I thought hard and frankly, I had no answers. I didn’t know what I wanted. And because I didn’t have an answer, I simply went with the flow and took whatever came my way. After all, never once in my life, have things gone by the way I had imagined. So I thought, what’s the point, in doing so much of thinking, when I have limited to no control over what will happen in future.
But I have to tell you, with every change in my life, my heart would start thumping loudly at the uncertainty of it all. The good part was that with so much happening, there wasn’t much time left to think about it. Now that I have kind of settled down, these thoughts are haunting me again!
Today, as I sit in my new apartment, in a whole new world, gazing at the streets outside and the bright sunshine, with my coffee in hand, I feel, maybe, this change isn’t that bad after all. Maybe there is something more to this changing life, than I can see at this point in time. Maybe, it’s worthwhile to live alone, away from your loved ones. It gives a chance to reflect upon the past times and think how I have lived my life till date. Every situation that I have faced, all ups and downs of life are coming to the surface, and it makes me realize the flaws in myself and the reason I have become the way I am today, how I was molded into my present self – my behavior patterns, my emotions, what I think and how I see this world. Somehow, I am reminiscing my own self, right from my childhood as far I can remember to present times.
Is this really a good sign or me going towards a state of madness…time can only tell! 😛
The only thing that comes to my mind as of now is the below quote and nothing else.