Curiosity, Anxiety and Uncertainty!!!

Each one of us has felt all these emotions at some or the other point in time in our lives. But what if you are overwhelmed with all the negative emotions at the same time. Be it curiosity to know something about someone or self which you know will affect you badly, anxiety about what is going to happen, uncertainty looming over everything going on in life, jealousy towards your peers, constant wavering of mind over your past experiences and the list goes on and on. It is like being stuck in a rut and not knowing why you are feeling this way. And then, you start trying all the ways to bring yourself back into reality and adopt a practical approach towards living life.

But what is right – listening to your heart or to your mind? Some say that only people who have followed their heart have succeeded in life; while some say mind knows best at all times. I tried doing both the things but failed. When i tried to put my mind aside and go with my heart; nothing went the way i thought and when i put my heart aside to listen to my mind, again the same thing!

Its like life never goes the way you want it to be. Whether you listen to your mind or your heart, whatever you do, it will ultimately lead you to wherever you are destined to be. But if everything is pre-destined, then what is the role of karma and free-will? Why do people say things like – “You define your own destiny”, “Good karma and deeds will ultimately result in good rewards”. If i am the one defining my destiny, then why don’t positive attitude and hard work always lead to the results that you desire? Same goes the case with good karma. I have heard people say that good karma will manifest sooner or later, if not in this life then may be in your next life!!!

The cosmic math is all fucked up. Assuming that in each of our lives, we attain some good and bad karma, which basically means we will have to keep incarnating over and over again, may be forever, to balance our accounts of Karma.  With this logic, whatever good or bad is happening with me in this life is for whatever i have done in my past life. And the fun part is, whatever good or bad I do in this lifetime, its for the next life when i won’t even remember what i have done! And if you don’t even know what you are being rewarded or punished for, whats the whole point?? How is it that the soul or your consciousness is learning and growing? Till date, from what i understood through various sources, it looked like the whole purpose of human life is to evolve at a soul level through various life experiences, so that we can go back to our source, our home, the place we all originated from. But doesn’t look like that now or am i missing something altogether?

Open to free flow of thoughts and opinions!!!!

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